Tuesday, August 29, 2006
All I need...
...is $99,000 and my fantasy life will be complete! How can a guy who has a blog named "Three Hour Tour..." and an email that starts with ssminnow7 NOT OWN THIS???
http://www.ablboats.com/details.asp?ListingID=74883
I'll be accepting donations via PayPal...
Thursday, August 24, 2006
"It's not my bag, baby!"
I love it when life imitates the movies, especially when it's one so shagadelic! Next, this guy will be wondering if the female security guard is a man, baby!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
I Can't Think About Elvis Without Thinking of Cheech, Chong and Mom
Note: Caveat Reader! Let the Reader beware! I feel a rambling post coming on. This topic has too many tentacles to my past for me not to get wrapped up in a number of them. Hopefully it will be an enjoyable read. It's a story I love to tell, especially on this day - the anniversary of the event - but I've never written it down before. When I tell it, I feed off the comments of others to make it more entertaining, usually in a self-deprecating way. But none of you are here as I write, so I'll have to draw on past experiences of telling the tale. My good friend Ed is the one I like to tell it around most. He shares my appreciation for one of the items involved, and he has the keen ability to make me laugh hard at my moronic behavior. I also like to remember my mom in this pose. It's how I picture her uttering her "lines", and it makes me feel warm inside
See, lots of tentacles, and I haven't even started. Don't say I didn't warn you...
It was the summer of 1977 and I discovered the drug culture. No, not like that. In the safest way you can - by comedy. One afternoon, a guy 3 years my senior played his Cheech & Chong album collection for his brothers, his cousin (my neighbor), and me. And we were addicted. We began listening to them over and over, trying not only to memorize each line, but to emulate the voices of Pedro and Man, Ralph and Herbie, Sister Mary Elephant, Sgt Stedenko, Cheborneck, Basketball Jones, and of course, Dave. To this day, if anyone asks for a "Dave", my mind immediately repeats "Daves not here." Sometimes it comes out of my mouth. I find that I have to explain the bit more and more as the years pass. Thankfully Tommy Chong has made appearances in "That 70's Show" that make it easier to relate to the younger crowd (yes, I'm talking about you, Rudiger).
and access to a microphone and a Panasonic tape recorder via my dad's work. I could do the recording and bring the player out to the street corner of an evening so that we could listen and learn. Now I had to find a good time to record. The room/house had to be relatively quiet and free from parental involvement. Mornings were out - too many good game shows on (Card Sharks, The Price is Right, High Rollers, etc.). Evenings wouldn't work - either I'd be outside hangin' out with the kids in the neighborhood, or I'd be watching great 70s TV, in all of it's 3 network + PBS glory. Afternoons would work best. Dad would be on the road, and Mom would be locked in on her soap operas, sitting in her favorite chair usually bundled up with an afgan my sister made for me when I was about 10. "All My Children" was on from 11am-12pm, "As The World Turns" from 1:130am-12:30pm (yeah, I know they overlap, but she'd usually choose "World" over "Children" - she could always catch up tomorrow on one or the other), and "Guiding Light" from 2-3pm. She used the 12:30-2pm time period to do chores around the house - especially the vacuuming. So really 2-3pm was prime time for recording. And before I'd begin, I'd tell her what I was doing so that she might make less noise.
So one August day - this day - I was setting up to record. Can't remember if it was Big Bamboo or Sleeping Beauty. Doesn't really matter - they're all good. I had the record player and tape recorder on the floor with the mic sitting next to the speaker. I limited my walking so as not to cause it to skip. If one occurred, I'd have to start again and I'd lose valuable time.
At about 2:20pm, I hear Mom's voice yelling for me from the living room. Now, you have to know my mom to know that you couldn't ignore her call. It was high pitched with a little lilt to it. She somehow managed to add a second syllable to "Chris" that drove me nuts as a kid. Often when I'd be outside playing at a friend's house on another block I could here her cry as clear as if she were standing right next to me. Uncanny.
But I was in the middle of a "session". Do I answer her and risk ruining the recording and losing time? Do I ignore her and hope she quits after 2-3 calls, thinking I may be outside or asleep? I couldn't get up to go to her because I'd risk skippage. What if, after failing to hear from me, she comes to investigate? What if she hears one of the routines? She'd already made me take down my Farrah Fawcett poster. What would she do with these tapes? As all this was running thru my head, I make the call to answer her in as short and quiet response as I knew how.
"Yeah?" I answered in the shortest, pimply-est voice I had at the time (maybe still do?), deflecting the sound away from the record player. My hope now was that it was some instruction rather than a question that I might have to give a long response to. She came back with one sentence I can still here to this day.
"Elvis Presley died."
At 13 I was not a big Elvis fan. Sure, I had a healthy respect for who he was and what he represented but I really knew him from the movies Channel 3 would show on "Dialing for Dollars" at 3pm - "Spinout", "Roustabout", "Blue Hawaii", etc. The music was fun, the girls were hot, and the settings were usually cool. Far from the rock icon he really should have been. But Mom knew this was a big moment in the entertainment world, and she thought I should know.
But I was recording Cheech and Chong! "Dave" wasn't there! Billy was about to get turned in to Sgt Stedenko! The stuff he gave Pedro "couldn't get a fly high". It was hilarious! And I didn't want to miss any of it! So I answered her.
"Okay."
That seemed to satisfy her, as I didn't hear anything more...
I would listen to the tape later and here the following exchange over top of the jocularity:
"Chri-is" (muffled but audible)
"Yeah?"
"........." (not as clear, but I knew what she said)
"Okay."
A few days after his death, Mom and I were traveling to Decatur for an orthodontist appointment. The radio was still buzzing about the death of the King. It was then I started to grip what the loss meant - to an industry, to a generation, and to a nation.
When I listened to the tape I thought of that day. Sometime in high school I lost track of the tape, but never the memory. I'd tell the story whenever Elvis was brought up in conversation. A few years ago, when Ed and I returned to our Cheech and Chong roots and bought all their stuff still in print, I remembered the tape with each track played. So imagine my surprise when I found this buried in the rubble that was my room:
I couldn't wait to get in my car that night and play it tape deck! To hear my mom yell again. To hear my stupid responses. To reconnect.
I wish I had a happy ending to this find. The tape had been reused. Gone were the voices. Worse yet, they were replaced by a episode of Mork and Mindy (what was I thinking???) My only hope is that this isn't the tape I'm looking for. Maybe its out there, still in a box I have yet to unpack. Maybe its in the box of "college stuff" I have in my basement. Wherever it is - if it still "is" - it will now be my "holy grail". Or should I call it my own "Zapruder film". One day it will surface. And when it does, I'll laugh like a pimply 13 year old and think of Mom...
So tell me: where were you when Elvis died?
Monday, August 14, 2006
Playin' Catch Up
As usual, I'm behind on my blogging. Where are we on that lobby to add more hours to the day? Who do I see about that? Well, if it's a government office, it'll probably be a long wait, which leads me into the first item of the post...
Whoop! Whoop! For Whooping Cough!
Yes, our kids have a case of pertussis. Panda had a cough during the week of the fair, but nothing else. No cough medicines where helping to loosen it up or suppress it for sleep, so after the competition (BTW - she finished with 4 blue ribbons and 3 red. Not too shabby!), she went to the doctor. Neither Prudence or I were able to take her, so Oma did. The doctor called it a "100-Day Cough" and told them to go to the local hospital for testing. Once there, she took the test and they were told the samples would be sent to the state lab and it would take 10 days to get the results back. No other instructions. No medications. No nothin' else. When they arrived home and found out how much they DIDN'T know , Prudence called the doctor to ask more questions. We found out it was actually Pertussis (extremely contagious and particularly dangerous for infants and toddlers) and started calling families that Panda had spent any time with. Fortunately it was only 4 families, and all the kids were 7+. But unfortunately it wasn't until late last week that we were able to get medications to treat it. By then, The Boy and Em came down with a cough and had to go in for the test. We'll wait another 10 days for their official diagnosis, but luckily the doctor we saw at Convenient Care saw our need and prescribed a round of antibiotics for all of us. The kids, while doing much better, will still have their coughs for another 80+ days and be contagious until Wednesday, but since Prudence, Oma, and I have shown no effects from the disease, we've been released to the general public.
But if the government really wanted to control this infectious disease, I'd think they'd want to have a quicker turn-around time than 10 days (we've read your contagious for about 14 days, so by the time you get into the doctor, get the results back, its too late to do anything) and have a method to get those possibly infected medication ASAP. Am I off base on this?
Prudence Update
She's probably 60-75% to normal. She's sleeping on her side for portions of the night, but the results of her surgery are still waking her up. They said it would be 6-8 weeks before she'd be completely healed and it's been 3, so she's pretty much on target or ahead of the curve! Yea!
Has Anyone Out There Lost Any Weight?
If you have, stop looking for it. I know where it is :( With all the fantastic meals from Oma and friends from church, I've put on 5-7lbs depending on the time of day I weigh in. The past few days have been beautiful here in central Illinois, and I've been trying to take advantage of them with bike rides with the kids. But tonight's stop at the local ice cream establishment may sideline my progress. I just hope I don't have to grow much beyond 9ft to meet my ideal body mass index...
One Less Mama in the House...
Oma left today after 3+ weeks. She was a HUGE help to Prudence and I! The kids had a great visit with her! And I she made all of my favorite "Oma" meals (thus the reason for my recent weight finds)!
But Before She Left...
...Prudence and I were able to squeeze in 2 movie nights with free babysitting! Last weekend we saw Superman Returns. I had high hopes for this movie, but it fell on its face. To start with, the explanation (or lack thereof) of why Superman had been gone for 5 years in space (Did he eat/breath in space?) left a lot to be desired. Then it seemed that Brandon Routh was playing Christopher Reeve playing Superman. Too many layers to look genuine. I tired of all the long looks between Lois and Superman and Richard (the significant other since Supes was gone). And if I saw Jason (Lois' 5 year old son - special emphasis on "5 year") looking like pathetic Frodo Baggins with an inhaler, I think I'd have stabbed HIM with a Kryptonite stake! This went on for 2 1/2 hours! Only the special effects redeemed the time. Superman flying was cool, and so was his heat vision. But why did he have to go to the edge of space with everything? Uuuuggghhhh! This was not the Superman I grew up reading...
But our movie season was redeemed somewhat by World Trade Center. I really didn't want to see this movie when it was first announced because the subject matter was still to fresh and raw, and I was unsure how Oliver Stone would approach this world changing event. And much like watching Titanic, we knew how it would end. But after I read Sue's review (she's now vaulted past Roger Ebert and Richard Roper as trusted voices - thanks, Sue!), it occurred to me that we needed to see it more than Pirates of the Caribbean 2 (there's always DVD). Stone did a great job storytelling. He parked his politics at the door and told the story straight from the hearts of the 2 men rescued from the rubble. He pulled at the heart strings, but not with the images of that day that we're all so familiar with. The attacks on the buildings, and their subsequent destruction, were only referenced by what the men would have seen or heard that day. No big special effects. Just rumor, sound, and vibration. But it was just as effective. And much more real. The scenes of the men in the rubble and the reflections on their lives at what they thought might be the end caused me and others to think about what's truly important. And the themes of men and women pulling together in the face of incredible adversity will ring true for ages to come. Now I can't wait until Panda can see it. She was only 7 when it happened and couldn't put everything in perspective. But next year at 13, this movie will help.
Lastly
My mowing jobs have picked up. The regular rains we've had keep me mowing my 3 regular lawns every 5-6 days. This week I've picked up the across the street. They're celebrating their 55th wedding anniversary on a cruise to Alaska - how cool is that (55th AND Alaska) - and won't be back for 2 weeks. In addition, its my turn again for our church's lawn. And again, the person who mowed before me mowed early last week meaning that the grass is long now and will be long again by Sunday, so it'll need 2 mowings this week. Its a good thing I have a 6GB MP3 player...
And I HAVE to write a post for Wednesday. If I don't, I'll have to wait a whole year!. G, I know I promised the first story from The Butterfly House would be "The Label Maker", but it can't be helped. This story is that important! Well, maybe it's just important in my head. I'll let you be the judge when you read it. But if you can guess what it might involve, I'll send you a free MP3 that relates to the story. If only I could send you the ACTUAL MP3, but I'm getting ahead of myself...
Have a great Tuesday everyone! See you back here on Wednesday!
Thank you, thank you vera much.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Nemo - July ??, 2006 - August 9, 2006
File Photo - May Not Be NemoSaturday, August 05, 2006
Sucker Written on My Forehead
36 ping pong ball tries: $5
Glass Fishbowl: $3.74
Goldfish Food: $1.32
Neon Gravel: $1.67
Aqua Safe for tap water: $2.88
Fish net: $0.94
Snaggletooth Smiles from 2 proud 10¢ fish winners: Priceless!
Thursday was all-day ride band day at the county fair. $8/kid to ride rides til they puke. Prudence, Oma and the kids met 2 other moms and their kids for lunch at McDonalds. Our kids stayed with the moms and went to the fair while Prudence and Oma left for a follow-up visit with Prudence's surgeon in Champaign. I met up with the families after work. Somewhere along the line the kids discovered the carnies hocking their promises of large stuffed animals, stereo equipment and bicycles. The Boy was sure he would win a bike tonight. The kid behind the counter made it look SOOOOOO easy to stand up the long-neck bottle with the stick, string, and ring at the end. The only questions in his mind were "will Dad give me the $5 to play the game?" and "when he does, how will we get the bicycle home?" At least that how one mom relayed it to me... So after 7 hours of riding almost non-stop, I pulled The Boy aside and walked him thru all the games and explained the point to each and every one of them. It always boiled down to separating him from his money. He would occasionally make eye contact with one of the workers and I would have to explain that we weren't interested. By the end I think he got the jist of it. After we had finished I told him he could have $3 to spend on any one game, and that he should chose one he had he best chance of walking away with something. It came down to 2 games: one where he was guaranteed to "catch" a box with a toy in it (you just didn't know what it would be), and throwing ping pong balls into a table of fish bowls hoping one would land in a bowl. Landing in a bowl with red cotton in it would give the winner a toy. Landing in one with white cotton gave a goldfish - a 10¢ fish that wasn't even guaranteed to be gold. He thought that the fish needed a home, so he'd give that one a try. On his 14 toss, one of the balls landed in a white cotton filled bowl. You should have heard him shout for joy. It was like he'd won the lottery! When Em finished riding the rides, I explained the situation to her. But once she saw The Boy's fish, she had to have one of her own. It took her 20 tries, but she was able to win one, too! I thought we had a fish bowl, rocks, et al, at home from a previous fish adventure with Panda, but I later found out we had given the stuff away to a friend of hers. Now the pressure was on to provide a home for our new fish friends. Two Mason jars worked as makeshift homes overnight. Quite frankly I wondered if we would have them the next morning. Interlude... I once won a fish at the Illinois State Fair. The carney gave me the actual fish and bowl I won it in - filled with water colored blue from food coloring. I won it sometime in the morning but wasn't going to leave the fair until 5pm. Luckily Dad was displaying some farm equipment and I could leave it with him. We changed the water when we got home, but the fish was dead the next day. My guess is he had the "blue lung". Returning to the story... Prudence and I both hoped that if one died, they both would. It would make life between The Boy and Em so much better. But they lived. So one of my errands on Friday was to purchase a fish habitat. $11+ later, plus a couple of shells from our visit to South Padre Island, Nemo and Bubbles now have a humble abode. No filter on the bowl means we - meaning I - have to change the water daily. This has only complicated matters in my mind. Now do I want them to live or die? Then I look at the picture again, and I know the answer...
Prudence Update: She's doing great! Everything is healing wonderfully. Her only issue is that she is still unable to sleep comfortably on her side. The Dr told her that may last another week or so. She alternates sleeping on her back with her legs elevated (she's had some foot swelling from doing too much) and sleeping in the recliner in our living room. This is getting old for her, but knowing its temporary makes it bearable.
She should be cleared to drive on Wednesday. I'm sure she'll want to exercise that freedom - even if it's to the convenient store in town.
Again, thanks to all for the prayers and well wishes!
Friday, August 04, 2006
Like yelling "Fire!" in a crowded movie house
I may just park myself here and watch Spaces burn to a lump of molten silicone. I'll let you know...
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